The Big Move

For over eight years now I have been living here and in the same place.  It became something of a sanctuary to me, a place where I can hide from those things that trigger my PTSD or Anxiety.  Without going into it, the time from when I was medically retired from the Police and until the time I found this place, was something I wish to forget.

I feel safe here and the owners have allowed me to grow plants and bushes as there was barely any when I moved in.  I have Kate, a good friend of mine to thank because if I had tried to do it all, everything would have died (I have blue thumbs),

I love this place, it is quiet, all the neighbors know each other and I get a kick out of living on top or near to, the place that has a very important historical part in Australia’s heritage.

A few years ago I wouldn’t even be contemplating moving if it wasn’t because of a very special lady who has come into my life again after nearly thirty years.  With the help of Rita’s Daughter and a Fantastic bloke in a regional town police Highway Patrol, I proposed. Of course, she said yes.

with the wedding planned some way off yet, we have decided to take the plunge and I will be moving in with her.  This is such an exciting new adventure but I would be lying I am more than a little anxious about it but one look into Rita’s eye’s, the way she looks at me adoringly leaves me in no doubt that my decision to be with the one person I love most in this world.

On Saturday night we went to a Russian Resturant for one of Rita’s friend’s birthday.  The place was packed and I was just barely making through without losing it but Rita seemed to know the right moment to hold my hand or give an encouraging word.  I could see her watching me,

The band they had started a slow song and I took her to the dance floor, as Rita put her arms around me and I did the same I looked down at her and in that moment I felt safe and as she looked at me with adoring eyes my love for her became even stronger.

30 years ago we dated but we were both young and immature, I could never imagine that I would be back in the arms of the girl who was my first real love.

I don’t like Melbourne, it’s busy, noisy and triggers my PTSD but because of the current distance between us, it’s not always possible for us to see each other and each and every day, until we can meet up, is like mini torture.

The decision to move in and start spending the rest of our lives together is an easy one, scary, but easy.  With Rita by my side, I feel I can overcome anything.  I’ve never really put much stock in fate something happened that allowed us to come and be together and I am forever thankful for the powers that might be for doing so.

Rita has been through so much in the past few years and I am very proud to have the love of a woman who is strong, courageous and determined, so I am putting aside my fears because on Saturday night as she looked up to me as were we dancing cheek to cheek, she smiled and removed all doubts.


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